An Anxious Heart

Sometimes it sneaks up on you.  You don't know why it really happens to you or even where it comes from.  Sure, you can explain the framework of the anxiety.  You say it's because of an event, or a person, or by the very fact that you aren't in control of things.  There are any number of reasons we feel this uncomfortable emotion.  But what is really going on?  Where does this restrictive experience find it's origin?  And more importantly, how can I stop it or slow it down?

I've experienced this sense of out of control panic when I have had multiple things going on at the same time.  Things like exams coming up, financial obligations, a "to-do" list so long it felt out of control, or relationships that weren't what they should be.  I recall people talking about shortness of breath, or a heightened sense of panic that completely felt involuntary, but I don't recall that happening to me that often.  But it did, perhaps more than I had remembered.  It's a weird feeling when you finally are able to place words on what you're feeling.  "I am having a panic attack!"  If that realization isn't uncomfortable enough, another follow up thought can take it a bit farther and even add to the panic.  That thought says, "that's not supposed to happen to me!  I am a follower of Christ and it's not good for a christian to have panic attacks!"  But some of us do, don't we?

Let's face it.  We live in a society that seems like it promotes an environment for anxiety.  Whether it be our finances, our health or our future, if we allow our emotions to run away with us they can cause us to be immobilized and ineffective.  And that's no way, indeed, for a child of the Living God to go through life.  It certainly doesn't reflect what Jesus said in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."  So where does it come from and what can we do about it?  Let me share three thoughts on this.

Occasionally I'll go to a map online or on my smart phone to figure out where I'm going before I leave the house.  As I enter the address it quickly brings up my destination, but sometimes I will be unfamiliar with the area and I'll need to zoom out so I can get some perspective on where I am headed.  Otherwise, I lose my frame of reference.

The first reason we may feel panic or angst is that there are moments in life where we are too zoomed in and lose all perspective.  This can lead us to a sense of dread and panic.  We become myopic and short sighted.  When we do this, we forget that we are children of the only true and living God.  He exists outside of time and is in control.  We, in essence, get too caught up on our own microscopic worlds and lives and simply forget that we are God's children and that He cares for us.  Entertaining our anxieties is like focusing on the jagged edges of a sign as we drive wildly past it not realizing that the message of the sign was warning that the bridge ahead is out.  We must see the right things.  To help, we need to refocus on who God is and how he is God.  My problems are not a problem for him (Jeremiah 32:17).

A second reason we struggle is that we are addicted to control.  Control is not everything that we are addicted to, but it's a big factor in many of our lives.  This, however, is expressing a deep dissatisfaction with how the Lord has doled things out to us.  It's saying, "I am more equipped to handle my life than you are, Lord."  The question begs, though, how is that working out for you?  Let's face it, we're afraid to trust God and control feels more tangible than surrender.  But addiction to control never works out.  You are not in control, you are only experiencing the allusion that you are in control.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says it best.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on our own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths."

We are finite.  God is infinite.  Finitude cannot comprehend infinitude.  Here's an exercise that I have found helpful in embracing this point.  As you think about your life, look backward and ask yourself if there has ever been a moment where God simply messed up and failed you in some way.  Sure there are points where it may have felt that way, but ultimately perspective gave you the real answer.  And we must say that the answer is emphatically no!  There has never been a moment when God has lost control and made a bad decision that left us wanting.  He is God.  So, now look forward into the future.  Is there any reason why you could expect him to fail now?  His track record is perfect, after all. Again, the answer is emphatically no.

A third reason is that we don't believe God is sovereign.  There is no doubt that we say we believe it and perhaps we do intellectually, but in reality, we don't believe it.   We can be "functional" Christians without really believing what we say we believe.  And that is sad.

At the foundation we need to reckon with two important points.  First, we are depraved, and our natures are very selfish and self-focused.  This often drives our thoughts and actions.  Though, as believers, we are no longer enslaved to sin, we still have sin's presence and when we take our eyes off of Christ, we become entranced by it's influence.  Martin Luther said you can't stop the birds from flying overhead, but you can stop them from building a nest in your hair.  Our depravity and our past may influence us, but it doesn't determine us.

Secondly, Christ set us free from the slavery to sin through his death and resurrection.  Paul says there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  That's good news which IS determinative.

Launching from these two realities, we can (and must) recognize that God is ultimately in control.  Scripture is replete with examples of his sovereignty and when we fail to take that into account then we certainly can become fraught with panic and a strong desire to take control.  As his children, we must remember to walk with him, not run ahead.  Walking implies intimacy, conversation, closeness and trust.   Psalm 1 reminds us that when we are delighting in God's law (the Scriptures) we are well cared for and experience the right fruit at the right time.  The nations rage against God (Psalm 2), but he merely laughs.  The reality is that he is a shield around us (Psalm 3) and is our Father.  He is God and there is no other.  Whom do we have, if not him?  Even if we perceive the events of our life as out of control we can trust in his goodness.  Aslan is not safe, but he is good ("The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe").

We can take Paul's words to heart when he wrote,

"If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?  Who shall bring any charge against God's elect?"

The answer, of course, is no one.  So, how does one combat the feelings of anxiety and panic?  I would recommend three thoughts.

First of all, sit down and consider the memorials of God's faithfulness in your life.  His past history, his fingerprints, if you will.  Make note of these important moments.  Things like your salvation story or his provision in the past, or this blog spot for you to read.  Remember that he has been in control of your life and has provided abundantly for you without fail.

Secondly, I would consider what he says about anxiety.  Look at Philippians 4:6-9.  Pay special attention to verse nine.  This tells us how we should direct our thoughts.  Memorize this passage, too.

Lastly, when you are faced with anxious thoughts, turn your focus on Christ.  Thank him for what you're feeling and ask him to intervene and renew your thoughts.  Hold them captive.  Breathe slowly and then move on.

Look, anxious thoughts happen to us all.  You're not weird for feeling them.  But we serve a great God who cares deeply that you drink the Living Water which always satisfies (John 4:13-15).  In fact, nothing in this world will satisfy but him.  Don't let these thoughts sneak up on you, but if they do remember who you serve.  He is with you.  Period.

The Value of Remembering

I find it easy to forget.  I forget dates.  I forget names.  I forget my wallet and my phone.  My wife even bought me a box to place my wallet, phone and keys in when I walk through the front door.   I often forget to use it.

Some things don't carry huge ramifications if we forget them.  I may not be able to drive to work if I can 't find my keys, but I know with a little digging I'll figure it out.  I mean, I did drive home so the keys must be somewhere, right?  If I forget to stop at the grocery store for milk, my life won't be over.

But other things carry significant weight in remembering or forgetting them.  I read this morning that the latest lottery winner lost her ticket.  That little misstep may cost her $350 million.  Though it would be painful to lose such a ticket, the woman will probably have fewer problems without the winnings.  Nevertheless, it reminds me of how some things are worth remembering....and making note of.

In Joshua, we see the Israelites finally, after 40 years, making their way into the Promised Land.  What that must have felt like!  It was actually a different group of people than the ones that left Egypt so long ago.  The unbelief of the first generation cost them entrance into the kingdom.  They would not make it because they were driven more by fear than faith.  Sad, but it sounds very familiar.

Nevertheless, what intrigues me most about this crossing of the Jordan River is two-fold.  First, this is a fulfillment of a promise made a long time ago.  This event speaks to the providence and faithfulness of God and that is One whose promise will always be carried out.  That gives me such comfort to know that He is the promise keeper.  That gives me added confidence that when I read in the book of Romans that God will cause all things to work together for our good for those that love him, I can embrace it with confidence.  Or that Paul reminds us that God is faithful to sanctify us.  "He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."  Another passage that gives me great comfort is when the writer of Hebrews tells us to come boldly into the throne room in our time of need!  Amazing.  But it is all built on the faithfulness of God and there is no one anywhere more faithful than Him.

That's why I like to remember what He encourages us to remember.

As the children of Israel crossed the Jordan, God tells Joshua to have a member of each tribe gather a stone from the dry river bottom and then to make a pile on the Promised Land bank.  When asked why, the Lord said this special rock pile would serve to point people to God's faithfulness and "These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."  Between this event and the crossing of the Red Sea Joshua tells us that "He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God."

How awesome is that!  God wants us to remember his marvelous faithfulness, consistency and sufficiency... regardless of our circumstances.  Those change, but he never changes!  Back in Genesis three He showed his redemptive cards, which equated to a promise.  Now, here, in Joshua, we see Him carrying out those amazing words, because it was from the Jews, making their way across this temporarily dry river into the promised land, that a Savior would be born.  The apex of redemption is realized on Easter morning!

Years ago, I started thinking through the "memorials" of God's faithfulness in my life and I was encouraged to see how many there were.  I started writing them down, too, so that on days when I flounder or get confused or become overwhelmed by my circumstances I think about those memorials and they help get my eyes back heavenward.  I remember talking to a very successful writer and speaker friend about how he seemed busy and motivated all the time.  I wasn't sure how he did it and so I asked him how he stayed motivated.  He said that he learned to live by his convictions more than his circumstances.  That stayed with me and I think keeping memorials appropriately before us about God's faithfulness helps us live more by convictions than by circumstances.

So, as I think about my salvation, my health struggles, my son's cancer at birth or a financial gift that allowed us to perfectly meet our needs or the multiple moments of God's protection, I am able to stand temporarily above the fray and see that there is a pattern of protection and provision.  All, of course, provided by a very loving, relational Savior.

I forget things all the time.  But some things remind me of the most incredible parts of life.  Those memorials always point me away from myself to the source of every good and perfect gift (james 1:17).
That's something I can't forget.  I like that.

A review of J.D. Greears book "Gospel"

Gospel: Recovering the Power that Made Christianity Revolutionary

By J.D. Greear

“Being able to articulate the gospel is one thing; having its truth captivate your soul is quite another.”

Has conservative Christianity allowed the gospel to be upstaged by moralism and legalism?  Have we lost our way in relativistic culture and become distracted by our culture to such a state that we have lost our way?

J.D. Greear brings, in this book, a message that is very likely to cause a collective group of “sighs” across Christendom.  In a drowning politically correct, relativistic culture it seems that the church has been drawn into a dangerous flow that is rapidly pulling many out to sea with it’s strong undercurrent.  The author believes that evangelicalism, as a whole, desperately needs to return the gospel to the center of Christianity.

With a healthy dose of balance “Gospel” is a book that successfully attempts to move our thinking, and our heart, toward “gospel centered” vibrance.  The content, following the pattern of the author’s own “The Gospel Prayer”, J.D. Greear brings the reader back to the revivification of the Living Water. 

“In, Christ there is nothing I can do

That would make You love me more, and nothing

I have done that makes You love me less.

Your presence and approval are all

I need for everlasting joy.

As You have been to me, so I will be to others.

As I pray, I’ll measure Your compassion by the cross

And Your power by the resurrection.”

The refreshing part of this book is that it reminds the reader of how the gospel has cut through the artificial nature of religion and restores the extraordinary truth of God’s gracious acceptance of a sinful world in Christ.  The gospel helps us move from a life of self-focus to one of joy, radical generosity, freedom and and courageous faith.  Greear reminds us that sin is not overcome with the will to “do better” but by being captivated by what God has done for us.  It points the reader, in helpful and practical ways, toward moving from legalistic obedience to love driven compulsion.  

In Gospel, the reader is reminded that God is not looking for well-behaved people, but people who experience a vibrant obedience that can be produced only by the gospel.

Greear writes with his conversational and witty style, which makes Gospel an easy and refreshing read. It is a purchase that is well worth the price of the book.

-Neale Davis

thoughts on a marriage

Communication:

One of the most effective things I’ve heard in how to maintain communication in a healthy marriage has been the encouragement to think theologically.  This is the best launching point to live and grow in the most important relationship outside of Christ.

What does that mean?

Thinking theologically in marriage is simply running your marriage through the prism and wisdom of Scripture.  In the Bible we see all kinds of admonitions and steps we can take to live wisely, but thinking theologically is more than that.  It involves understanding how the gospel applies to how we live life together.  It’s not just the dance steps, it’s also the music.  Dance steps don’t make sense unless you hear the music.

Often people approach marriage like a contract.  Each person negotiates for what they expect, want and are willing to do in their marriage.  Most of the time this isn’t a cognitive exercise, but it is usually driven by a very self-centered motivation, even if it isn’t blatant.  We’ve all heard of people who see marriage as a 50/50 proposition where each person is responsible for a certain portion of the marriage, but this never works in a healthy relationship.  For one thing, how do you know if you have performed and done your part?  Where exactly is 50%.  More importantly, how does this reflect biblical marriage?  In reality a 50/50 proposition is impossible to measure and there is always someone who feels “cheated” and so contract re-negotiations must happen.  

We all know intuitively that a contractual marriage is no way to live in a healthy relationship.  Plus, it’s not scriptural.  Ephesians 5 is crystal clear how we are called to see marriage, in light of being men of God. Marriages that thrive are covenantal and carry no stipulations on the other person.  And what a relief that is.  No keeping score, no negotiations, no crying “foul” when things seem unbalanced.  Instead, a covenant marriage is a promise to be devoted to the other person regardless of circumstances or unexpected impingements.  Ultimately it involves capitulation to the King of Kings in order to model the same type of love and commitment he displays in Ephesians 5.  We are to love our wives like Christ loves the church.  That means we lay down our rights in order to point our brides to Christ and prepare them for their very personal encounter with him in eternity.  That means when you say “I do” you lay all of your rights at the alter.  You made a promise to care for her and take care of her, with no expectations in return.  Good, bad or indifferent you are called to provide her with the greatest sense of security on this side of heaven.  Just like Jesus did for you.

How does this relate to communication?  It is the forerunner of good communication.  As you love Christ and love your mate the way he loves you, the guard of self-protection is removed and the communication channels are cleared for authenticity, honesty, and safety.  

The irony of this type of marriage is that as we give of ourselves unselfishly then we can anticipate the same type of love in return.  Usually.  But the reality is that both you and your spouse are still sinners who naturally seek your own needs, and sometimes this will get in the way.  Loving the way we are called to love is counter-intuitive and a real challenge.  You and your spouse will make mistakes along the way, but you are called to love her nonetheless.  As you work to provide this type of environment your spouse’s level of trust in you and willingness to talk will be much greater than it would otherwise.  

The following points are intended to help you make tangible efforts toward your spouse and your communication.

1. Walk intimately with God.  That means we need to live in light of the music of the gospel first, and then experience the dance steps of the Christian life as an overflow.
2. Think theologically about your marriage.  This is simply recognizing that you are depraved and you must understand that you bring dysfunction to the marriage.  But it also means growing in the grace that God extends to you and confessing your sin appropriately.  Don’t worry about changing your spouse, but make sure you are living the Spirit-filled life first.
3. Surround yourself with people who have the freedom to call you out when they see unhealthy things.  Never isolate yourself under any circumstances.
4. Watch your workload.  Let your spouse speak honestly about how it’s affecting her.
5. Speak to her in the way she feels loved, not in ways that make you feel loved.  
6. Seek to understand before being understood.
7. Read and deeply ponder the ramifications of Ephesians description of how a husband should love his spouse.
8. Listen to your spouse.  Really listen.
9. Apologize authentically when you need to apologize.  That means saying you’re sorry and asking for forgiveness with no excuses or “buts.”  That is, “I’m sorry I offended you.  Will you forgive me?”  Not, “I’m sorry you were offended, but….”  

Authentic, growing and healthy marriages are a lot of work and there’s no getting around that fact.  Relationships are messy and a big part of the reason is the sin so deeply imbedded in our hearts.  We tend to worship the wrong thing.  But when our affection is placed on Christ, where it deserves to be affixed, then we can see more clearly how to love our spouses.  However, all the work it takes is surely worth it.  You will never regret the good decisions you make, but you will most likely regret the bad ones for the rest of your life.  

ravi zacharias responds to a muslim student

Color in a Colorless World: Why I Love Scripture

The world is interesting.  It is full of the fearsome, the beautiful, the fantastic, the astounding, the heart-warming, the mind blowing, and the awe inspiring.  I recall every campfire I have ever sat by looking into the endless sky admiring and philosophizing.  That's what is common about campfires.  Everyone ponders and wonders about the infinite.  But those given to finitude struggle with understanding and embracing eternity and, in the brokenness of the world with limited vision, we see a world that is also full of the sad, the conflicted, the sufferers, the unjust, the marred, the ugliness and underside of the worst part of humanity.  But none of this happens in a vacuum. There is rhyme and reason for such a conflicting world.  There is an objective source for such understanding.  There must be because without it we're left to pontificating and subjective and helpless drowning in a pool of our own foolishness.

So, I love Scripture.  It provides a unique but extraordinarily wonderful view into the nature of man under the umbrella of the nature of God.  The Scriptures are like a lake.  Shallow enough that most anyone can wade around the edges and enjoy it's refreshment.  But one can also swim out to the middle and never touch bottom.  It's an amazing book.  It provides perspective, reality and hope in the midst of predictable chaos.  It helps remove the confusion and provides a filter to run our experience through.  It points in the direction of infinitude and shows the most interesting fingerprints ever left on scene in the history of man.  Some see these fingerprints and see nothing, so they look away. Others see them and explore further.  Still others recognize that these fingerprints not only exist, but they belong to Someone.  

I love Scripture.  I never read it because it answers all of my questions.  I read it because it is ethereal and yet, very tangible.  I read it because it moves my attention from me and my surroundings and points it upward and outward.  It gets me outside of the most miserable place to dwell....my own selfish world, where most of my problems as a sinner originate.  I read it because it's relevant and life changing.  I read it because it's eternal and true.  I read it because it points me to the only true and living God where my suffering is addressed.  I read it because it's coherent, cohesive and rings with extraordinary veracity.

Scripture speaks.  It points to the living Word, Jesus.  The Word is God (John 1:1).  It's not platitudes.  It is truth beyond what I can grasp, but it's clear enough that I can apply it and embrace it.  Before I became a follower of Christ I might read small portions of Scripture, but would never understand it.  It was like picking up a book in German and trying to make sense of it.  I don't speak German so I never stick with books written in German.  But when I surrendered my life to Christ and His Spirit began to dwell in me the word of God got lift. And the more I have ensconced myself in Scripture, the more I internalize it in my life, and the more I grow to love it.

This is all why I am a Biblical Counselor.  Not because I am a fundamentalistic "my way or the highway" type, but because it only makes sense that the Creator of man would be the best to understand him.  We are made in His image.  It makes sense that the wisdom of Scripture, the eternal word of God, the flawless nature of God's speech, would be the best way to understand our struggle and our remarkable need.  Some might label biblical counseling as simplistic, but it is far from that.  True, it is simple, but no, it is not simplistic.  The older I get the more incredible I see the Scripture and how utterly reliable it is in approaching those who suffer and those who sin.  Does this mean that I am opposed to all but biblical counseling.  No.  I am not.  I believe in being clinically informed, but gospel centered.  Everything that is helpful must ultimately point to Christ.  The source of all wisdom.  The source of all life.  The Living Water.  The Redeemer.  

I love Scripture.  I love the hope it provides and the perspective it brings.  The healing it provides.  The light it shines.  The love it shows.  The justice it promises.  The mercy and forgiveness it carries.  The Person it points to.  The relationship it promises.  

Scripture adds color to a colorless world.  The world is interesting.  The Scriptures provide texture to it.

"I really can see you!"

I have to tell you about an experience I had yesterday as I was running on a trail.  It was a great run and the first one in a long time that felt effortless.  But as I made my turnaround and headed back to my truck I was praying and thanking God for all he is and what he is doing in our lives and family.  I recall just saying to him, "I would love to be able to just see you."  And clearly, but not in audible words, I heard him say, "you can see me."  As I heard these words I looked at the trees and then up to the sky admiring the beauty of the clouds and sun and the sounds of the forest.  I replied, "yea, I can see you!  I can!"  That amazing thrill lasted about a second at most before I said to him, "no, I mean face to face.  I wish i could just see you right here in front of me."  Almost instantly I sensed his reply.  "You couldn't handle it."  I was a little shocked until I remembered that even Moses could only see the back of God as he passed him (showing only his back was an act of mercy on God's part).  And even that limited view lit him up so much that he had to wear a veil so as not to freak out the israelites once he got back down.  Then it dawned on me that he is so holy that he doesn't show himself to us in such uanabashed fashion.  In fact, this is him showing us kindness.  If we were to see him face to face now it would likely stop our hearts instantly or leave us in the fetal position experiencing the biggest anxiety attack in history.  That's true of us, as his friends.  Imagine what it would be like if we were his enemies.  The scene from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" might be helpful to give us a glimpse.  There, if you recall, the Spirit of God moves through the nazis before melting their faces and completely eradicating their very physical presence.  

But enough imagery.  My point is that it is awesome that we can see God though in a veiled way. Even more awesome is that the book of Revelation is clear that when we arrive in glory we will be complete, and although I have no idea what it will be like to approach him then, I do know that we will live with and reign with him.  The very glory that would likely kill us now because of God's sheer beauty and holiness will then be the light by which we live.  In the meantime, the book of Hebrews encourages God's friends to approach his throne boldly in our time of need.  Although I feel like I am always in need, I find this encouragement amazing.  Absolutely amazing.  He, a perfectly frightening holy God, invites me, a perfectly frightful sinful child, into his lap.  

Though we can't always make sense of what he is doing, we can make sense of his kindness and mercy to us.  Even though I don't understand everything I read about in his word or what is happening in the world, I do know he is good and merciful.  And as his child I don't have to be afraid of his justice.  Jesus is the Lord of the Sabboth and that means to us that we can experience rest only in him.  We can personally know "shalom."  That is, rest on all borders.  

I don't often hear from the Lord like I did yesterday, but I've noticed that as I draw near to him, he seems to draw near to me in tender and intimate ways.  I love that and am praying that you experience that as well.  Hebrews 10:22.

A Review on "Erasing Hell" by Francis Chan

“Erasing Hell: What God Said About Eternity, and the Things We’ve Made Up”

By Francis Chan and Preston Sprinkle

“We can’t afford to be wrong on this issue.” - Francis Chan

In a world of retreating convictions and militant political correctness this book is a refreshing, though quite sobering, reminder that God is still God.  Without apology.

Hell has never been a very popular topic, but it has been a topic recently forced to the front of our American Christian culture by the social media, which was driven by a sad case of a popular pastor moving away from orthodox and biblical convictions on the doctrine of hell.  Chan and Sprinkle artfully but respectfully bring us back to this extremely important topic and remind the reader that there is no ambiguity in the Scriptures regarding hell.  

The authors rightfully approach this important (and heavy) topic with a great deal of caution and even sadness.  The simple truth is that we often don’t fully comprehend the ramifications of a biblical doctrine of hell and we need to approach it with sobriety and seriousness.  This is more  than a matter of “I’m right, you’re wrong!”  Hell is a topic to be treated with great care because the ramifications for those who treat this in a more cavalier fashion is serious.  And the authors respectfully approach the discussion with great biblical conviction but with a healthy understanding of the topic at hand.   They describe their motivation for writing the book (and ours for reading it) not as excited, but as necessary.

Chan and Sprinkle wade systematically, though conversationally, through the biblical record of what we actually read about in God’s word.  Chapter titles include “Does Everyone Go to Heaven?”, “Has Hell Changed?  Or Have We?” and “What Jesus Said about Hell.”  He closes in the last chapter with these important words,

“We should not just try to cope with hell, but be compelled- as with all doctrine- to live differently in light of it.”

And in this direction the authors point the reader to the more important point.  Are we ourselves assured that we are not headed for this very real destination?  

“Erasing Hell” is a definitive endorsement of solid, orthodox biblical teaching on a most unsettling but real doctrine. An important read for any believer as we navigate the swirling waters of melting convictions.  It is a sensitive response to the topic of the day.  The authors bring the discussion back where it belongs:  on the flawless Scriptures and what God clearly has to say about himself.  

-Neale Davis, M.A.