An Anxious Heart

Sometimes it sneaks up on you.  You don't know why it really happens to you or even where it comes from.  Sure, you can explain the framework of the anxiety.  You say it's because of an event, or a person, or by the very fact that you aren't in control of things.  There are any number of reasons we feel this uncomfortable emotion.  But what is really going on?  Where does this restrictive experience find it's origin?  And more importantly, how can I stop it or slow it down?

I've experienced this sense of out of control panic when I have had multiple things going on at the same time.  Things like exams coming up, financial obligations, a "to-do" list so long it felt out of control, or relationships that weren't what they should be.  I recall people talking about shortness of breath, or a heightened sense of panic that completely felt involuntary, but I don't recall that happening to me that often.  But it did, perhaps more than I had remembered.  It's a weird feeling when you finally are able to place words on what you're feeling.  "I am having a panic attack!"  If that realization isn't uncomfortable enough, another follow up thought can take it a bit farther and even add to the panic.  That thought says, "that's not supposed to happen to me!  I am a follower of Christ and it's not good for a christian to have panic attacks!"  But some of us do, don't we?

Let's face it.  We live in a society that seems like it promotes an environment for anxiety.  Whether it be our finances, our health or our future, if we allow our emotions to run away with us they can cause us to be immobilized and ineffective.  And that's no way, indeed, for a child of the Living God to go through life.  It certainly doesn't reflect what Jesus said in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."  So where does it come from and what can we do about it?  Let me share three thoughts on this.

Occasionally I'll go to a map online or on my smart phone to figure out where I'm going before I leave the house.  As I enter the address it quickly brings up my destination, but sometimes I will be unfamiliar with the area and I'll need to zoom out so I can get some perspective on where I am headed.  Otherwise, I lose my frame of reference.

The first reason we may feel panic or angst is that there are moments in life where we are too zoomed in and lose all perspective.  This can lead us to a sense of dread and panic.  We become myopic and short sighted.  When we do this, we forget that we are children of the only true and living God.  He exists outside of time and is in control.  We, in essence, get too caught up on our own microscopic worlds and lives and simply forget that we are God's children and that He cares for us.  Entertaining our anxieties is like focusing on the jagged edges of a sign as we drive wildly past it not realizing that the message of the sign was warning that the bridge ahead is out.  We must see the right things.  To help, we need to refocus on who God is and how he is God.  My problems are not a problem for him (Jeremiah 32:17).

A second reason we struggle is that we are addicted to control.  Control is not everything that we are addicted to, but it's a big factor in many of our lives.  This, however, is expressing a deep dissatisfaction with how the Lord has doled things out to us.  It's saying, "I am more equipped to handle my life than you are, Lord."  The question begs, though, how is that working out for you?  Let's face it, we're afraid to trust God and control feels more tangible than surrender.  But addiction to control never works out.  You are not in control, you are only experiencing the allusion that you are in control.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says it best.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on our own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths."

We are finite.  God is infinite.  Finitude cannot comprehend infinitude.  Here's an exercise that I have found helpful in embracing this point.  As you think about your life, look backward and ask yourself if there has ever been a moment where God simply messed up and failed you in some way.  Sure there are points where it may have felt that way, but ultimately perspective gave you the real answer.  And we must say that the answer is emphatically no!  There has never been a moment when God has lost control and made a bad decision that left us wanting.  He is God.  So, now look forward into the future.  Is there any reason why you could expect him to fail now?  His track record is perfect, after all. Again, the answer is emphatically no.

A third reason is that we don't believe God is sovereign.  There is no doubt that we say we believe it and perhaps we do intellectually, but in reality, we don't believe it.   We can be "functional" Christians without really believing what we say we believe.  And that is sad.

At the foundation we need to reckon with two important points.  First, we are depraved, and our natures are very selfish and self-focused.  This often drives our thoughts and actions.  Though, as believers, we are no longer enslaved to sin, we still have sin's presence and when we take our eyes off of Christ, we become entranced by it's influence.  Martin Luther said you can't stop the birds from flying overhead, but you can stop them from building a nest in your hair.  Our depravity and our past may influence us, but it doesn't determine us.

Secondly, Christ set us free from the slavery to sin through his death and resurrection.  Paul says there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  That's good news which IS determinative.

Launching from these two realities, we can (and must) recognize that God is ultimately in control.  Scripture is replete with examples of his sovereignty and when we fail to take that into account then we certainly can become fraught with panic and a strong desire to take control.  As his children, we must remember to walk with him, not run ahead.  Walking implies intimacy, conversation, closeness and trust.   Psalm 1 reminds us that when we are delighting in God's law (the Scriptures) we are well cared for and experience the right fruit at the right time.  The nations rage against God (Psalm 2), but he merely laughs.  The reality is that he is a shield around us (Psalm 3) and is our Father.  He is God and there is no other.  Whom do we have, if not him?  Even if we perceive the events of our life as out of control we can trust in his goodness.  Aslan is not safe, but he is good ("The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe").

We can take Paul's words to heart when he wrote,

"If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?  Who shall bring any charge against God's elect?"

The answer, of course, is no one.  So, how does one combat the feelings of anxiety and panic?  I would recommend three thoughts.

First of all, sit down and consider the memorials of God's faithfulness in your life.  His past history, his fingerprints, if you will.  Make note of these important moments.  Things like your salvation story or his provision in the past, or this blog spot for you to read.  Remember that he has been in control of your life and has provided abundantly for you without fail.

Secondly, I would consider what he says about anxiety.  Look at Philippians 4:6-9.  Pay special attention to verse nine.  This tells us how we should direct our thoughts.  Memorize this passage, too.

Lastly, when you are faced with anxious thoughts, turn your focus on Christ.  Thank him for what you're feeling and ask him to intervene and renew your thoughts.  Hold them captive.  Breathe slowly and then move on.

Look, anxious thoughts happen to us all.  You're not weird for feeling them.  But we serve a great God who cares deeply that you drink the Living Water which always satisfies (John 4:13-15).  In fact, nothing in this world will satisfy but him.  Don't let these thoughts sneak up on you, but if they do remember who you serve.  He is with you.  Period.